overknees

I am a nice person on the outside. I always have been a decent person and i feel good about me. But as usual someone decides to push buttons on the "remote" that cause explosions inside that i cannot control. It is these people who decide life should be their way or no way at all. I have 4 children, 3 of which are my own and a fourth by marriage who might as well be mine also. My first wife has decided that am i bad influence on my children and feel like i am not entitled to not only my visitation that i pay child support for but my right to just talk to my kids. And then my daughters mother has basically disappeared off the face of the earth and went into hiding behind her family. I am a nice person but this is bullshit. My kids spent 3/4 of spring break with me and it was an awesome time and i hated sending them home to their other parent who thinks its best to : 1 not let them talk to me ,2 have to beg and plead to see them (i don't ask anymore),3 not let them have any fun or be around other kids unless you are there. If i had my way it would not be a nce conversation if and when we decide to have a convo togeether. She has disgraced herself and our kids because she has spent the better part of their lives ruining them and telling them i am a bad person which has nothing to do with my kids. Hell i was born bad and i'm okay with it. If they want to know the real me i will tell them , it is not her place because in the parenting class she took before me that is what it said and we signed. My daughters mom is just ridiculous in her own damn way, she an idiot and a drunk. My step-daughters family is nuts and they tell her all the time that the ones who love her and take care of her that we are evil. Your kids are a reflection of who you are the good and the bad. If your kids stink and have bad hygiene you need to do something about it; if your kids won't bathe do something about it. We are taught from a young age honor our mothers and fathers but when they do you wrong it is not your fault . I am not saying curse your parents but its asinine when a child is with you and they dont bathe or brush they teeth or wash they butts it is your responsibility as a parent to do what your parents did and their parents did and so forth back to moses. My children should not have to be bombarded once they walk in the door after hanging out with and my wife or my step daughter shouldnt be told i am just a man. I take better care of her than her sorry ass daddy who won't even stay with her long enough to get to know her and her favorite foods, television shows and her favorite books. Its not fair that not just my kids but other kids around this country have to live with parents who either dont care or better yet dont give a damn about their kids. I may not nor have i ever professed to be great parent but dammit i have worked myself to death mentally and i have busted my ass for 15 + years trying to be something i am not good at but i will try till im dead. I am sorry for whatever i did in a past life if you believe in that type of stuff but i have done good by my children and given them every dime i have because that is what a real parent does. i watched my mother work 2 minimum wage $3 jobs support me and my 2 sisters and provide for us while my raggedy ass father denies me and my sisters dad is basically just a donor who comes around on tuesdays. This may not be the best place for this but it is the only way i know how to vent without going to jail for murder and things of that nature. i hope someone reads this and understands that not all parents are bad.